Tuesday, June 3, 2008

I've had one cup of coffee.
Read 2 "staff announcement" e-mails
Sneezed 3 times
Watched 4 planes fly by
Processed 5 claims
But I can't count the times it's crossed my mind.
And all before 10 am.

I still don't know how to say these things. I still don't know when to say them either. I keep screwing up the best chances. I just keep writing these endless paragraphs the next day to try to get it to all make sense and sound the way I want. I keep failing miserably. Is that the key? When I can write it the right way - then will be the time to say them? If that's so I may be here awhile. I may also develop carpal tunnel. Maybe I need to give up on the perfection I want and just let the jumble of words loose. Maybe I need to risk it not being received well, or not making any sense, or loosing all control of my senses.
Wait... already done that.

-Louise, I don't know what you are. I've turned myself inside out to try and avoid what happened today. You affect me in ways I can't quantify or contain. All I can measure is the affect, and the affect is that I'm out of control. - pg 53 - Written on the Body


On another note:
Do you even know what you're expecting?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

To contrive or not to contrive, that is the question.