I'm kinda coasting in this blissful Ignorance bit. Coasting may not be the right word but I've got the nail on the head with the blissful bit. So much time has been spent worrying & hoping & worrying & regrettably wasting on useless mixed emotions & generally unhealthy, incorrect interpretations.
I've also spent more then a fortnight trying to fight it. Attempting to convince myself it was not what I had hoped. Battled my sensibility, & ended up loosing all sense of control and reason.
For 2 years I've been proven right about all the things I've thought about intentions & sincerity, & I think -i hope- I'm ready to start trying to forget. I want to be able to believe again & I want to loose myself in all the things I've been without for way to long.
Way to long?
No, Probably not. As terrible as it may have been, the secret mush inside me knows that the time was needed to fully appreciate & deserve the things.
I made a post a few months ago about being fully consumed instantly & it may have come true.
I don't care if this blows up in my face. At least not completely... I'm still afraid at this very moment.