I did NOT expect this. I can't even decided if i'd've preferred to not get it. In that case I wouldn't have to search for the right things to say. I'm almost able to say anything, because nothing is going to change it. I've had near 5 months to gather up all the words and courage, and now that I can use them... I almost don't want to. It's always been like that. Just with this though. Why do I become a puddle of goo? Stupid. Silly. Useless Goo.
Don't let me do it again. Please god.